I don’t think it’s the locals…

Just a few months after moving to Brussels, I dubbed it The City that Doesn’t Give a Shit. Six years later…

Just like oobidoobidoo, how society looks depends on how you look at it. Those at the top tend to look down on those below as being not only the source of society’s ills, but also the source of its government’s power. A bit like the battery chicken farmer who doesn’t give a toss about his chickens living in shit, as long as they keep supplying what he needs to make a profit.

At the other end is the great majority of the populace; the battery chickens if you like. As long as they are fed and watered, they are happy to let their expectations wither until they don’t really bother any more. In Belgium (the French bit, anyway) this is expressed in the common phrase, “Je me’en fous.” A direct translation into English isn’t possible, as it means a cross between…

• I don’t care
• I can’t be arsed to engage
• You’ve mistaken me for someone who gives a shit
• Whatever

Brussels parking. The driver was having breakfast and chatting to a staff member in Le Pain Quotidien. For twenty minutes.

There has been much written recently about how Belgium is a failed state, its police and security forces dysfunctional, why Brussels has all of nineteen mayors, how the infrastructure is falling to pieces while local government is riddled with patronage and bung-chucking, how the multiple layers of government are a nonsense, how the Blame Game is a national pastime, and if you’ve lived here for a while… why is it that just about everybody is so crap at what they do?

On the other hand, the chickens general populace are rather pleasant… but it seems that they are kept in such a happy state by a continual lowering of expectations, until the only manifestation of their angst is in the monthly or so demonstrations against the government for decreased benefits/lower pension age/longer working hours/lower milk prices. In the meantime double parking, acceptance of sub-socialist bureaucracy, dilapidated infrastructure, indifferent sales staff, incompetent workmanship, ‘the company/organisation is always right’, ignorance of local byelaws, disjointed and dysfunctional utilities and service companies, one half of the country’s distrust/disrespect/disregard for the other half’s language and culture, ineffective police forces (SIX in Brussels), lack of town planning, the use of Brussels’ centre as a nightclub’s toilet, are all accepted (to name a few) as business as usual.

In fact, everything in Belgium can be (and is) explained away by the locals in four phrases:

1. I don’t care
2. It’s not my fault
3. Somebody else is to blame
4. It’s always been like this

All of which keeps Belgian Solutions going. True, there are many exceptions but this isn’t about them: it’s about putting the care back into the Belgian populace who’ve lost it. The above four dicta are invariably used by Belgians in a closed loop. For instance, if you were to ask most locals the following question about the farcical situation in the city centre:

“Isn’t it ridiculous about the pedestrianisation of a major trunk road?”

You would receive an answer not unlike…

“Oh, it doesn’t really bother me… I didn’t vote for the mayor… it was him and his cronies who did this… this kind of thing is always happening… but in the great scheme of things, it doesn’t really bother me.”

So all that needs to be done is to break the loop. And all that we need to do to make that happen is ask the question, “Do you care?”, followed by the demand, “So prove it.”

If people really cared about the state of the roads and pavements, they could ask the workers laying the stones, “Do you care that you’re making a mess of this?”… and then demand that they prove it.

If the workers really cared about not having the expertise, training and/or equipment to lay the stones properly, they could ask their bosses, “Do you care that I’m making a mess of this?” … and then demand that they prove it.

If the bosses really cared about not having the funds, management skills, equipment and infrastructure within which they could train their workers to do the job properly, they could ask the government, “Do you care that you are not making it possible for the people to walk on the pavements and drive on the roads safely?”… and then demand that they prove it.

Of course, were the government to go back to the people and ask, “If you care so much about the state of the roads and pavements, will you pay more taxes?”, the people would quite rightly say, “With all due respect, fuck the fuck off.” This is because the Belgian people pay higher taxes than anywhere else in Europe.

Which makes it all the more ridiculous that the people insist that they don’t care! So the phrase, “It was always like this” becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The Belgians I’ve spoken to think I’m being in some way what the Americans call a ‘tight ass’ about this. But as one of the brighter policemen said to me once, “You’ve only got to look up to see how proud the Belgians used to be.” And it’s true: the buildings are, for the most part, beautiful… but they’re falling to pieces.

No, I don’t believe I am being fantastical about this: other societies do manage to stop their infrastructure from falling to pieces, and the pride of other nationalities ensures that their buildings and roads and communications and airports and schools and hospitals… the bricks and mortar of an industrialised society is actually improved over time.

So true, so true…

So. Belgians. Ask your king if he cares, and if so, will he stump up the money to re-surface the roads around his palace? Ask the SIX Brussels police forces if they care, and if so, will they INSIST that they are merged into one force? Ask the NINETEEN mayors of Brussels if they care, and if so, will they work under ONE city authority? Ask the TWO linguistic regions if they care, and if so, will they allow the people to vote for ANY candidate in ANY election (in the ONE country) – and if not, would they kindly split the country into two autonomous regions with Brussels taking on ‘DC’ status?

And so on and so on: you’re going to have to ask each other that very simple but very revealing question…

Do. You. CARE?

And if your answer is ‘yes’, you’re going to have to prove it.

Post Script

I recently contacted our child’s school about what I believe to be a silly waste of time… and their response exactly epitomises all of the above…

Me

Please tell me why our children have to attend school only in order to pick up their reports on Friday 1st July, rather than allowing them to bring them home on the Thursday.

Surely this is a waste of resources (staff, buses etc.), while giving us parents a little extra to do for no apparent gain.

I’m certain there must be a good reason, but none that all of the parents with whom I’ve spoken can think of.

Response

Thank you for your mail. As long as I have been working in school, this has always been like that and I unfortunately cannot give you any reason neither. By the way, this is the same in all four Brussels’ European schools and also in Belgian schools.

If you wish to change this, I suggest to address your concern to the Central Office of the European schools.

There you have it in a nutshell:

1. I don’t care
2. It’s not my fault
3. Somebody else is to blame
4. It’s always been like this